What To Do When Life Hands You A Shit Sandwich (AKA: How To Turn Shit Into Gold)

I’m going to be honest: the last few months of my life were challenging.

After 8 years, I've ended my relationship with my ex. May seem unexpected, I know.

While I’m not ready to talk details, I want to leave you with a few lessons I’ve learned over these last months.

Because what do you do when life hands you a complete shit sandwich?

When you're terrified, and something so intense happens you wonder whether you'll be OK?

Number 1: allow yourself to feel like shit 💩

Right now, it's time to stop pretending you’re doing great. You’re not. This freaking sucks.

No matter what you're experiencing, embrace your pain. Sit in the discomfort. Don’t make it bigger, but let it be there.

This is not easy! 😂 It’s uncomfortable as f*ck.

But your ability to be present with yourself while feeling intense emotions, without hiding from them or judging yourself, ultimately leads to freedom and happiness.

I cried for one month straight. Holding myself through these emotions led to freedom, gratitude and love.

When you don’t feel your feelings, it’s not like they just disappear. 😂 They have a tendency to bounce back more strongly. 😅 So the only way out is through.

How to do this? Sit and feel. Breathe and say “yes” to every emotion that arises in you.

Stop running. Relax. Touch your heart and say: it’s OK. I’m OK. I’m safe. I’m here.

Warning: lots of crying may happen ❤️ And that’s absolutely OK.

Step 2: take insane care of yourself 💗

No one can take better care of yourself than you can.

Yes, reach out to friends. Be honest and real. Ask for support and feedback.

But also, check in with yourself. One of the things I’ve been doing is asking my inner little girl how she feels and what she needs.

A simple exercise to do this is to speak with yourself in a mirror. Ask yourself how you're really feeling and doing. And what you need.

My inner little girl has been crying a lot and needed flowers, good food and candles. 💗

I’m doing my absolute best to support her in any way she needs.

P.S. I actually went shopping with her yesterday. I gifted myself a complete wardrobe upgrade with a personal stylist.

It feels like a nice way to mark the beginning of a new era and take care of my inner little girl while tending to my inner and outer beauty.

Step 3: forgive yourself 🙏🏼

There is nothing wrong with you, love. Shit happens. You did your best, truly!

So let go. Journal on this by asking: what do I have to acknowledge, forgive myself for and release? Then forgive yourself, every day.

It’s needed. You deserve it. If you would’ve known better you would’ve done differently! And the fact is — you didn’t! Now it’s too late, you can’t change anything about it.

So stop bringing that negative energy with you into the future. You do have a choice here. Let your choice be softness and surrender, instead of harshness and stubbornness.

As for me, I had to forgive myself for being harsh on myself and doubting my intuition. For placing someone else’s opinion higher than my own.

For giving up on my gut feeling. For not remembering that I deserve and can create something better. And for settling.

Step 4: find the gifts 🌸

Remember that everything happens FOR you in life, not TO you.

Ask yourself, how can I learn from this? Why is this a gift?

Complete this sentence: I’m so happy and grateful this is happening because…

Journal until you find the gifts.

Trust me, they’re there. Even if it’s hard to see.

As for me? I’m so happy and grateful this happened because:

- I’m learning to take care of myself better than I ever have before.
- I’ve followed my joy and moved to Amsterdam.
- I connected way deeper with my mom and some of my friends.
- I get to take a stand for what I want to experience in my next relationship.
- I got to re-explore my sensuality in a way that feels aligned for ME.
- I got to say “no thanks“ to some of the limiting beliefs and patterns that were running my past relationship.

Remember: You are worthy. And your intuition is never off.

I hope this message finds you well.

With so much love, Leonie XOXO 💕